How to Choose the Right Therapist for You

With so many therapists out there, knowing where to start can feel overwhelming. Just deciding to begin therapy is a huge step, and finding the right therapist to take that journey with can seem impossible. The truth is, no matter how well-trained or experienced a therapist is, the biggest factor in your progress is the relationship you have with them. Research consistently shows that the therapeutic alliance—the connection and trust between you and your therapist—is the number one predictor of success.

That doesn’t mean a great personality fit can replace skill and expertise, but it does mean that taking the time to find the right therapist will make a difference. So how do you go about it?

1. Use Filters to Narrow Your Search

If you know what you’re looking for, you can refine your options and increase your chances of finding a great match. Here are some ways to narrow the field:

• Specialties: If you have a complicated history that might involve trauma, start with trauma-informed therapists. Many people say, “I’m not sure if it’s trauma,” and the answer is often, “Yes, it counts.”
• Therapeutic Approaches: If you know you like EMDR, dislike CBT, or want more somatic work, search for those approaches.
• Interests & Personality: Many therapists now share more about themselves on their profiles or websites. If something about their hobbies, values, or worldview resonates with you, that’s a great sign. The days of therapists being blank slates are fading, and this transparency can help you make an informed choice.

2. Schedule a Consultation Call to find the right therapist

Once you’ve narrowed your choices, request a brief consult call. A 5-10 minute chat can tell you a lot about whether they:

• Listen and understand you
• Communicate in a way that feels natural to you
• Seem engaged and confident in their ability to help
• Don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions, if something is important to you bring it up

If something feels off in the first few minutes, take time before committing. A good therapist will ask if you’d like to move forward but won’t pressure you.

3. Consider Practical Barriers

Even the best therapist won’t be a good fit if logistics don’t work. Ask about:

• Scheduling: Can you consistently make their available times?
• Location: Is the office convenient, or do they offer telehealth?
• Finances: Do they take your insurance or offer sliding scale options?

4. Be Open to the Process

The first session may feel a little awkward, but you should sense that your therapist understands your needs and is asking the right questions. The goal isn’t instant comfort—it’s feeling like you’re heading in the right direction.

Taking the time to filter out poor matches, having a consult to confirm a connection, and seeing how you feel once you start can make all the difference in building a strong therapeutic relationship. Finding the right therapist is an investment in yourself—one that can lead to meaningful growth and healing.

Thinking about Lasting Connections Counseling? Schedule a consult call with me today.

I help you differently. As a therapist with 20+ years of experience, I’ve helped thousands of people find a healthier, happier version of themselves. I take the time to understand you, help you feel comfortable, and create a roadmap that makes sense for you. I’m warm, friendly, and nonjudgmental, and a wizard at spotting patterns that both hold you back and move you forward. If you’re looking for a therapist who just nods along, that’s not me. But if you want someone to celebrate your wins (big and small), gently point out where you’re getting in your own way, and help you build better relationships while letting go of negative beliefs—with practical tools to support your growth—let’s talk.