I find I am on a different number almost every week. This week it is all about having the confidence (or not) to live your dream. When you feel tired of life you need to return to this well. This week is number 7. Fortunately, I read it again. I’m sure I’ll give you more numbers that speak to my heart on different weeks.

Life is not tiring – Wanting life to be a certain way but not having the confidence to make it that way, is tiring.

I am very tired right now. And I am very energized right now. You can be more than one thing at a time you know! I am building my practice and excited about doing it. I am learning SEO, more about SSL certificates than I EVER wanted to know, insurance, billing, business plans, real estate law, and the list goes on. And believe it or not my kids have not decided that they need their mom any less or that they are going to pick up all the lego pieces that I stepped on going to the kitchen to make dinner (again).

I am cleaning up after Christmas, working full time, trying to keep all the school meetings and doctor’s appointments on target and sometimes there feels like not enough of me to go around.

Last week I had a moment. I’m not going to lie about it. I doubted myself, completely lost my confidence and wondered if I had what it takes to do all of this. Fortunately, I found my people, talked it out, slept on it before I made any decisions and I am on the other side.

But not so long ago I think I would have stayed stuck in my worry, stuck on my doubt. A few years ago I would have said building a website is too hard. Finding my own clients is too hard. Trusting that God will provide is too scary unless I really hold on tight to the reins. And I would have been right. All of these things would have been too tiring.

What’s the why?

Guess who’s not tired today? I’m writing this after all right? While I am doing tiring things I am doing them with the confidence. I am creating the life that I want. I am creating a life where I trust that I am worthy enough for my dreams to come true. God is being allowed to actually move in me because I am trusting that he is guiding me to this path and I don’t have to hold the reins just in case.

Looking forward I see my practice where I can help people and have energy left over to really engage with my kids, to go to that random classroom volunteer job, chaperone that field trip, and be home when I need to with no one’s permission but my own. When I travel I get to decide when I go and for how long. I can lean in to my husband’s needs when he needs me and not when I can take the time. When I look at my success I know that it’s me that created it, it’s not a fluke. When I build this practice I feel valuable and worthy.

Steps Forward

Every time I face the doubt (and oh, it comes more than once) I remember the life I am building, the goals I am reaching for, and the value of what I want to achieve and I can take another step. I hope for you and me both that when we are tired of life we can take the same steps like I am now to find what part of life you are not confident enough to take a step towards and push that barrier. Plenty of things in life should make you tired but when you find life itself to be tiring it’s time to break through.

If you’re in Texas and want help breaking through get in touch!