There’s a moment, quiet but undeniable—when you know: you can’t keep going like this.

You might still show up. Still play the part. Still tell yourself to be grateful. But something inside of you whispers (or maybe screams):
This is not sustainable.

It’s a strange kind of limbo. You haven’t left yet. Maybe you can’t. Not today. Not this month. Not until something shifts logistically, financially, emotionally.

You might be in a job that’s slowly eroding your health. A relationship where you’ve had to shrink to survive. A role that once felt like home, now turned brittle and sharp. And even when you know it’s not working, leaving feels like standing at the edge of a cliff with no safety net below.

If you’re in that space – between the knowing and the doing – I want you to hear this:

You are not broken for feeling stuck.
You are not weak for needing to wait.
You are not alone.

Sometimes people survive systems they were never meant to thrive in.
Sometimes what looks like “staying too long” is actually the bravest possible thing when you’ve been keeping others afloat, navigating trauma, or slowly reclaiming your sense of self.

And even here, yes, even here, healing is still happening.
Even before the leap, your body and mind are taking stock. Gathering clues. Building strength. Testing the edges of what might come next.

There’s a version of you waiting on the other side.
Not a shinier, more productive version. A freer one. One who doesn’t have to brace every time her phone buzzes. One who wakes up and doesn’t dread the day before it begins. One who is still her, but lighter somehow.

You don’t have to know what comes next to believe in her.

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If You’re Still in Survival Mode: How to Anchor Yourself

When you know you’re ready for change, but you’re not quite out yet, your nervous system needs help staying grounded. Here are a few practices that can help you hold on when it feels like everything is fraying:

1. Find a safe corner inside yourself.

Visualize a space in your mind or body where you feel even a little more at peace. It could be a memory, a color, a place, a prayer. Return there often, even for 30 seconds. It’s a quiet form of resistance.

2. Give your distress context.

Say to yourself:

“This isn’t a sign I’m failing. This is what distress feels like in a system that’s no longer right for me.”
Naming the context helps reduce shame and gives your pain meaning.

3. Anchor in routine where you can.

One familiar meal. One playlist that calms you. One bedtime ritual that feels doable. These tiny, consistent acts can signal safety to your nervous system when everything else feels shaky.

4. Create moments of micro-choice.

Even in the most constrained situations, you have small choices. What you wear. What you say no to. How you organize your time. Start by taking back one area where you’ve felt powerless.

5. Speak gently to the part of you that feels trapped.

That voice might say, “We’ll never get out.” You don’t have to shut it down but you can respond with:

“I hear you. It’s hard. But we’re working on it. We’re not stuck forever.”

6. Let someone hold hope for you.

Whether it’s a friend, a therapist, or a line from a book, borrow hope if you can’t find it. Sometimes we don’t believe in the next chapter until someone else helps us imagine it.

How to Get Started on a Plan Because You Deserve better than a toxic job or a toxic relationship

1. Get Clear on What’s Draining You

Start with a short, honest inventory:

• What specifically is hurting you?
• Are there patterns, people, or situations that spike your stress?

This clarity helps you name the problem, which is the first step to loosening its grip.

2. Identify What’s Still in Your Control

Even when you feel stuck, you’re not powerless. You may not be able to quit the job or leave the relationship today, but you can:

• Set firmer boundaries
• Take mental health days
• Practice detachment with difficult people
• Build emotional support outside the system

Small choices restore a sense of agency.

3. Give Yourself a Timeline

Hope gets stronger when you have something to look toward. Try:

• A 3-month survival plan
• A 6-month transition window
• A 1-year “if nothing changes, I’ll need to…” checkpoint

Time-bound plans help your nervous system relax. They remind your body and brain: we won’t be here forever.

4. Connect to a Bigger “Why”

You’re not staying because you’re weak. You’re staying because something matters—your kids, your income, your safety, your values. Naming that “why” can reduce shame and build inner alignment. But hold space for the part of you that’s exhausted, too.

5. Build Support in the Meantime

You don’t have to go it alone. A therapist, support group, friend, or mentor can walk with you while you sort out your next step. You can be healing while still in hard places.

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You’re not failing because you’re still in it.
Sometimes surviving is the work.
Sometimes you don’t realize how strong you are until you see how long you’ve been carrying what no one else could see.

You don’t have to stay in survival mode forever.
There’s a different way to live—and you are already becoming the version of you who will make it there.

And when you’re ready to build that next chapter, I’ll be here to help you write it.

You don’t have to stay stuck.
If you’re in survival mode and wondering if things could ever feel different—there is a way forward. It won’t happen overnight, but it can happen gently, one regulated breath, one safe step at a time.

If you’re ready to start imagining a life that feels less like just surviving and more like you, I’d be honored to walk with you.

Schedule a free consultation to see if we’re a good fit, or explore more about how therapy can help you move from survival into something new.